Cracking the Shell: Confidence, Struggle, and the Beauty of Becoming
Midlife has a way of shaking the ground beneath us. The changes in our bodies, our relationships, our careers, and our sense of purpose can all leave us questioning who we are—and whether we’re still “enough.” If you’ve felt your confidence slipping or found yourself wondering where the vibrant, sure-of-herself version of you went, you’re not alone. These feelings are deeply human—and deeply common—especially for women in their 40s and 50s.
This week on the The Complete Woman Podcast, we had the privilege of sitting down with Jamie Hadfield, a confidence coach who works closely with women stepping into the spotlight of pageants. But her insights stretch far beyond the runway. In our conversation, Jamie shared a formative story from her childhood—one that has guided her outlook on life, confidence, and growth in powerful ways.
As a young girl, Jamie’s family raised chickens. One spring, when the chicks were beginning to hatch, Jamie’s father noticed one of the eggs starting to rattle. Eager to help, he gently cracked open the shell, freeing the tiny chick inside. But over the next hour, something unexpected happened. While the other chicks managed to hatch on their own and survived, the one who’d been helped… didn’t make it. Watching Jamie process what happened, her father shared a lesson she’s never forgotten: the struggle is what makes us strong.Without pushing through the shell, that chick didn’t have the chance to build the strength it needed to thrive.
Midlife can feel like one long rattle in the shell. Hormonal shifts, menopause, changing roles at work and home, kids growing up, relationships evolving, society whispering that youth is where value lies… It’s a lot. And when confidence wavers, it can feel like you’re somehow failing. But here’s the truth: struggling with self-doubt doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human.
At Shala, we hear from women every day who say things like, “I don’t feel like myself anymore,” or “I just don’t know what I have to offer now.” And that breaks our hearts—because what we see is a woman who’s spent years pouring into others, adapting to changes, and holding a thousand threads together. What we see is strength.
Jamie’s story reminds us that confidence isn’t built in ease; it’s built in the doing. In the showing up. In the pushing through. And in the remembering—remembering who you are.
So instead of giving you a checklist of confidence-boosting tips today, we want to offer something gentler. An invitation.
Take a quiet moment. Reflect on your life—not through the lens of what’s missing or what’s changing, but through the lens of what you’ve built. The lives you’ve touched. The gifts only you offer. The moments you’ve endured and overcome. Your essence—your identity—isn’t something that disappears in midlife. It’s something that continues to deepen.
You are not just in transition. You are becoming. Again. Still. Always.
The shell may be rattling. But trust yourself—you have the strength to break through. And when you do, the woman on the other side won’t just be confident. She’ll be unshakable.