When Your Mind Won’t Slow Down: Understanding Racing Thoughts and Midlife Anxiety

You lie awake in bed, exhausted but wired. Your mind bounces from unfinished work emails to worries about your teenager’s future, your parents’ health, and that random thing you said five days ago. The loop doesn’t stop. You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

Racing thoughts and anxiety are incredibly common experiences for women in midlife, especially during the hormonal transitions of perimenopause and menopause. If anxiety wasn’t a part of your younger life, its sudden arrival can feel confusing, overwhelming, and even frightening. But there are biological, psychological, and social reasons this shift happens—and there are ways to regain your sense of calm and control.

Why Does Anxiety Increase in Midlife?

Hormones are part of the story—but not the whole story.

As estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate and decline in perimenopause and menopause, they affect the brain’s production and regulation of neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA—the very chemicals that help us feel calm, balanced, and emotionally resilient. Studies have shown that estrogen modulates the stress response and supports mood stability.¹ When these hormone levels drop, the brain becomes more sensitive to stress.

But it’s not just about biology.

Midlife is a demanding season of life. Many women are caring for children and aging parents at the same time—what’s often called the “sandwich generation.” Career shifts, relationship changes, health concerns, and financial responsibilities all pile on. This combination of hormonal changes and life pressures creates fertile ground for anxiety to take root—even in women who’ve never experienced it before.

What’s Actually Happening in the Body?

To understand anxiety—and how to calm it—it helps to understand your autonomic nervous system, which governs your body’s involuntary functions like heart rate, digestion, and breathing.

The autonomic nervous system has two main branches:

1. Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)

This is your body’s “fight or flight” system. It’s designed to keep you alive in a crisis. When the brain perceives a threat—whether it’s a bear in the woods or a tense meeting with your boss—the SNS kicks in. Heart rate rises. Muscles tense. Blood sugar spikes. Digestion slows. Your body is primed to fight or flee.

This system was designed to help our ancestors survive physical threats. But today, it often gets triggered by emotional or imagined threats—an unpaid bill, an awkward social interaction, a flooded inbox. The problem is that the body reacts the same way to psychological stress as it would to a physical emergency.

When the sympathetic system is stuck in overdrive, you may experience:

• Racing thoughts

• Shallow breathing

• Digestive issues

• Increased heart rate

• Sleep disturbances

• Muscle tension

2. Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)

This is your “rest and digest” system. It counterbalances the SNS, helping your body calm down after a threat has passed. When the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, heart rate slows, breathing deepens, digestion resumes, and a sense of safety returns.

The key to managing midlife anxiety is learning to intentionally activate the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling to the brain and body that you are safe.

How to Activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System

You have more control than you think. While you can’t eliminate every stressor, you can train your body to switch out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-digest.

Here are evidence-backed strategies that help:

1. Deep, Slow Breathing

Breath is the remote control for your nervous system. Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale slowly for 6–8. Repeat for several minutes. This activates the vagus nerve, a key pathway of the parasympathetic nervous system.²

2. Gentle Movement

Walking, stretching, yoga, and tai chi can all downregulate the stress response. Studies show that regular movement reduces symptoms of anxiety, improves sleep, and enhances mood.³

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups to release physical tension. It helps create awareness of where stress is held in the body and teaches the brain that it’s safe to let go.⁴

4. Meditation and Mindfulness

These practices train the brain to stay in the present and reduce the overactivation of the SNS. A consistent mindfulness practice has been shown to reduce anxiety and increase gray matter in areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation.⁵

5. Nature and Sunlight

Time in nature lowers cortisol levels and restores a sense of calm. Morning sunlight also supports circadian rhythms and mood regulation by boosting serotonin.⁶

6. Connection and Support

Talking to a friend, therapist, or support group can help regulate the nervous system through co-regulation—the calming effect of human connection. You don’t have to do this alone.

You’re Not “Too Much.” You’re Not Alone.

Midlife is a season of profound transformation—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Racing thoughts and anxiety aren’t signs that you’re failing. They’re signs that your nervous system is working overtime in a season that asks so much of you.

But your body also holds the tools for healing. By learning how to calm your nervous system and support your whole-body well-being, you can reclaim peace, clarity, and confidence—one breath, one choice, one day at a time.

Let’s continue to support one another through this powerful stage of life. You’re not just surviving midlife—you’re transforming. And Shala is here for every step of that journey.

References

1. Gordon, J. L., et al. (2015). Estradiol and mood regulation in perimenopausal women: A review. Endocrine, 48(3), 774–782.

2. Lehrer, P., et al. (2020). Heart rate variability biofeedback increases baroreflex gain and peak expiratory flow. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65(5), 796–805.

3. Stonerock, G. L., et al. (2015). Exercise as treatment for anxiety: systematic review. Current Psychiatry Reports, 17(8), 1–7.

4. Bernstein, D. A., et al. (2000). Progressive Relaxation Training: A Manual for the Helping Professions.

5. Hölzel, B. K., et al. (2011). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191(1), 36–43.

6. Berman, M. G., et al. (2008). The cognitive benefits of interacting with nature. Psychological Science, 19(12), 1207–1212.